I'm Scared.

To be honest, i’m scared. I'm scared of how you make me feel. and all this time, i was scared of being in love with you, and that’s why i couldn’t even see it myself in the beginning, even when it was so obvious to everyone else. i didn’t want it. i couldn’t. because i knew that if i fell for you, then i’d have my heart broken. i could never make myself believe that i could deserve you, so i tried to be your friend because i had to have you in my life somehow. all that time when i was aching to just tell you and try to get something more, i was trying to make myself believe that i’d be okay with just being friends and pushing myself away. trying not to look at your beautiful face, or fall for your eyes. trying to just have fun and make you laugh, like a friend. but now, i regret it. even though the time i spent with you was the best i had, and thinking of those few rare moments in my memory makes me smile, at the same time it hurts. it hurts a lot. i don’t regret my love for you, for it made me more happy than anything else, but i do regret letting you slip away. i just wish i could go back and have one more chance, and this time, try my best, be honest, and not be scared. then at least i would know how it might have been, not feel like i made the worst mistake of my life, and not live with this regret. you’re always on my mind and i miss you terribly. i hope i’ll have a chance with you someday, because i’m afraid that there really isn’t anyone else for me. these are my words left unspoken.